Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Ebb and Flow

Everytime I proclaim a statement like, "I am so in love with my child, he makes me so happy and I am loving every moment with my 16 pound bundle of joy"- inevitably the very next day I am given a challenge or trial to make me put my money where my mouth is. Life has always seemed to be this way for me. The moment I say something, I am challenged to show by outward manifestation that this is how I really feel.

Take, for example, Last week- Lincoln made so much progress in physical therapy and eating & gaining weight and his HEART LOOKS GREAT. This week I am faced with a new set of worries- yellow, almost decayed looking top teeth that have barely cut his gums, a mis-shapen head that has outgrown a THIRD helmet, and a lack of motivation for tummy time or wanting to mobile any time soon.

Soooo, do I get upset and take back all the feelings of love and gratitude and enjoying the moments that I was feeling when things all looked positively splendid? Do I replace them with doubt and fear and the agony of thinking about the possibility of all the unknowns? Do I let these fears rob me of the moments with my baby that make life so sweet? Sometimes- yep,  I throw myself a pity party for a minute and then I pick myself up and realize that this is the ebb and flow of life. There will always be worries and there will always be something that is not quite right and perfect about my child. But there will also ALWAYS be good, great, and wonderful things that are happening simultaneously with the things that aren't perfect.

But we will work it all out in time and THANKFULLY time has a way of fixing most things. Even if his baby teeth come in far from perfect because of antibiotic therapy that eventually saved his life, I can deal with that. Teeth can be fixed! Even if after 4 helmets his head is not 100% perfectly round, he will have hair to cover it and no one will even notice eventually. And eventually he will be mobile and then I will have a whole new set of worries to get used to- like falls and bruises and who knows what. So, for now I am going to enjoy his stationary smiley face as he sits and plays with his toys.

This weekend our family came into town and Lincoln had a blast with all the attention, he definately LOVES his cousins!!! We had fun swimming, playing at the park, and enjoying some good cooking by my famous grill master husband.  Here are some pics of our weekend in no particular order. Lincoln's new favorite- pulling beautiful long hair, and making girls squeal.

Measuring Feet

Lincoln can really rock a pink nap nanny.

He was not too sure about the slide.

I love when I see pictures of him laughing at me, and I had no idea.

It was a good weekend and it took my mind off some of the things that seem so important, but really,  are NOT. The important stuff is that we have each other and we have a life to live that will never be ordinary! There is so much good daily that seems to always be joined with a few tough things I wish had immediate answers to right away. I am that kind of person. I want the fix now, and I want to make it better. I tire myself out trying to make wrong things right. The thing of it is... the waiting and cultivating of patience makes seeing the end result all worth it. My patience is a work in PROGRESS. Wish me luck for a week of patience.

1 comment:

HILL HESS said...

My kids continue to pray foor Lincoln in every prayer- by now it is just habit! You are always in my thoughts. I love you so much. You are AMAZING!