I choose to SWIM, LAUGH and HOPE. It is not always easy, but it sure beats the alternative.
I think I have been so busy in the day to day dealing with each issue and having to be strong, and finally with Dave being home from school and sharing the daily load I was able to relax and think. All the emotions just piled up and I felt very burdened. It finally became real to me that Lincoln's leg will not come back, that this is something we will have to deal with and work through for the rest of our lives. I KNOW it will all work together for our good, and I am confident that Lincoln will be able to look at this as a challenge rather than a disability. It just makes me cringe to think of all that he has to go through to get to the point where his leg is healed and ready for a prosthetic. I have so many unanswered questions and to me that is the most frustrating thing. I like to know what to expect, I like to plan and to prepare, and this is one thing that even the doctors can not help me with at this point.
All we have is faith in God that he will order and provide everything in due time and strengthen us until we can start to see the light at the end of this very LONG tunnel. We found out that there is an infection in Lincoln's bone and he will definitely be in the hospital for 2-3 more months until his grafting is done and it all takes. When things look so bleak and the docs give you nothing but issues to worry about it can be hard to find the hope.
So, Dave and I took it upon ourselves to create our own hope. Firstly, we took a break to clear our heads and get our perspective back. We took a few days and drove up to Cedar City and stayed at a Bed & Breakfast and enjoyed the fall foliage and mountain air. Removing ourselves from the Vegas area and from the hospital scene really helped us to remember that this WILL NOT last forever, we will get through this, and Lincoln will come home someday. We were able to talk about other things, and laugh and love life. It was sooooo NICE! Just what the doctor ordered- literally.
Upon our return to the hospital we felt renewed strength and I think Lincoln felt it oozing from us. The last two days have been wonderful with him. We moved him from his warmer into a crib- which is one step closer to him coming home. The nurse said that she watched the dressing change on his leg and his leg is looking much better after his surgery on Tuesday. The tissue looks healthy. Yeah!
Today we dressed up for Halloween and I must say this is the cutest ghost I have ever seen!
|And did I mention he is 7 lbs 1oz. He is getting sooo big!|
And so... we are swimming and laughing and hoping- and man, is life sweet. We have all we need if we have each other- and for those crummy days which I know will come again from time to time, I will pick myself up and put on this shirt and remember...